Moments of Joy During Difficulty
When we’re going through a difficult time, feeling any sense of relaxation or contentment can be a challenge. In times of stress, our focus hones in on how hard things are and what we’re struggling with. When our mind and body are under this stress, our internal resources deplete, leaving us with little to no energy to do what uplifts and nourishes us. We may skip meals, stop exercising, or compromise our sleep because we are preoccupied with managing competing priorities. When we need self-care the most, we tend to do it less because we are stretched so thin for time and energy.
In part, the tendency to focus on what may be going wrong is our brain doing its job. Our brains are designed to be on the lookout for anything that could threaten our sense of safety. If we’ve experienced trauma, we may find ourselves to be especially hyper-vigilant. When we go through something difficult, part of the healing process is about developing the ability to hold multiple aspects of our reality. Whether you’ve had a traumatic experience you can point back to or not, if you struggle with feeling overwhelmed by life, learning to hold sometimes opposing or competing parts of your experience can be helpful in reducing stress.
At any given moment in life, there is cause for joy and peace, and there is cause for suffering and pain. The beginning of breaking cycles of stress and burnout and being able to be with multiple parts of our experience can start slowly and simply. Pausing for a few slow deep breaths, a gaze out the window, or a moment with a loved one, our nervous system is given the opportunity to reset. If we can move out of fight or flight mode and towards curiosity, we can approach what we do next with presence. Rather than barreling through one task after another, we can direct our energy with intention to what matters most.
When we disrupt the experience of overwhelm, pause, and redirect our attention to something that is going well in our day or in the world, we begin to bring in more balance and increase our capacity for experiencing positive feelings like peace and happiness. In turn, the more resourced we are, the more intentional and effective we are at directing our energy to what truly matters in life, including both the pleasant parts and the hard parts.
