Sexual Objectification

Sexual objectification means viewing and treating a person as an object for one’s own sexual gratification. If your partner objectifies you, then you may feel devalued for who you are and only seen as a body to be used for their pleasure. If you objectify yourself, you may be more focused on what you think someone else wants from you than what you desire for yourself. Self-objectification can contribute to a low sense of self-worth.

When a compliment feels demeaning

Mainstream culture is infused with objectification of female bodies, and these messages are harmful for everyone. When women have experienced objectification in their past, they may be turned off by a partner’s compliments about their appearance even though they also know that their partner loves them for who they are. If this is a challenge in your relationship, I suggest that you and your partner focus on compliments of personality traits, values, and behaviors. Once you have both established a sense of connection through safe and meaningful compliments, then practice together adding compliments of physical qualities. If this feels especially difficult, consider addressing this topic during therapy sessions.

Kinky sexuality

If you are turned on by being objectified, then we're talking about being kinky. Your erotic mind might enjoy the fantasy or role play of being treated as a sex object. Sex play and fantasy that is pleasurable for all involved can be healthy and empowering even when the turn-ons involve being used for a partner’s pleasure. When the erotic experience has ended, you should still feel good about what happened. If you feel regret or shame afterward, consider processing in therapy the self-criticism that is tied up in your turn-ons. You can enjoy the sex you’re choosing as well as find pleasure in the memory of the sex you’ve had.