Your Erotic Mind
Our minds influence how we experience sexual interactions. Our perspective determines whether we are bored or resentful, whether we are open and interested, and whether we are intensely excited.
If you are in an erotic mindset but do not find a partner’s touch to be arousing, you might actively engage in reshaping the experience to become aroused. Regardless of your partner’s knowledge of your body and skill with touch, if your mind is busy with topics unrelated to an erotic experience then you likely won’t be aroused. If only one person is in an erotic mindset, you likely are both aware of this imbalance because you’ll bring different energy to your interactions, and one person alone cannot create a passionate sexual experience for both people. If neither of you are in an erotic mindset, your sexual encounters are likely to feel like a routine or an obligation.
Do you find it challenging to be in an erotic mindset? We can have difficulty shifting to an erotic mindset when we are stressed, depressed, or tired. We may have little practice about having erotic thoughts, or we may or feel shame about erotic thoughts if we have learned that sexual thoughts are bad, sinful, or unwholesome. We may not have erotic thoughts about a long-term partner but instead only have erotic thoughts about strangers if we have separated emotional intimacy from sex.
Do you find it easy to have an erotic mindset but difficult to find balance with what you eroticize? If we have frequent erotic thoughts that are distracting from a healthy relationship or from meeting our daily responsibilities, we may be experiencing sexual compulsions rather than a healthy sense of sexuality.
Enhancing your sexual experiences necessitates discovering your erotic mind within the context of your sexual encounters, whether alone or with a partner. Eroticism is unique to each person and can change throughout our lives. Continue discovering who you are as a sexual being. Explore what you find arousing to your mind. What are the dynamics that turn you on? What are the contexts you think of as sexy? How do you want to express your sexual self?
