Moving Through Anxiety

Being in anxiety can range from manageable to overwhelming to debilitating. Anxiety shifts us into survival mode, putting our mind on constant guard, scanning for problems and affecting how we experience life.

A common approach to managing our anxiety is to seek control. We might tell ourselves that if we can control our environment and circumstances, then nothing will throw us off balance. Unfortunately our bodies experience the stress of playing out worst-case scenarios even when they do not occur. 

We may try to manage our anxiety by controlling people in our lives, sometimes through a lens of others being fragile and needing our sacrifice to ensure their well-being. Typically when we manage our worry by managing other people, everyone involved builds resentment about this arrangement.

Trying to control everything is a ceaseless task. In truth, we have control over very little in our lives. When we are operating from the belief that we must be in control for life to be okay, we are perpetuating our anxiety.

Rather than trying to control what is external to us, we can care for ourselves by first working with our physiological response to move from survival mode into grounded presence. Imagine a small child, perhaps a younger you, being fraught with anxiety. How would you respond to that child? You might give them a hug, take deep breaths with them, or reassure them that they are safe. When you feel anxiety creeping in, consider how you can care for yourself in this uncomfortable moment. What helps your nervous system regulate? 

Part of working with anxiety involves realizing that we are not in danger, though our brain may have us believe otherwise. We can practice soothing our worried mind and working towards accepting that we are okay even when anxiety creates a lot of discomfort. Although we are uncomfortable, we are safe.

The next time anxiety strikes, I invite you to take a breath and meet your experience with self-care and compassion, like comforting your inner child. Acknowledge that while your brain may be signaling danger, you are safe. Move towards nervous system regulation through grounding and self-soothing. Over time, as you respond to anxiety in this way, you work toward increased resilience in dysregulating situations, strengthening your capacity to move through life with more ease.