The Taboo of Fantasy

Are you ever surprised by what turns you on? Have your fantasies ever made you feel uneasy? Our fantasies may feel taboo, confusing, or even shameful. In the world of fantasy, we may be turned on by something that we would find distressing in real life. The “naughtiness factor” is a common ingredient that makes a fantasy enticing.

In the world of fantasy, we have the ability to imaginatively play out something we may not want to actually experience. For example, we may be turned on by the idea of a threesome with our partner even if we would feel jealous and hurt if a partner had sex with someone else. We can engage with the idea of a threesome as a fantasy to intensify our turn-on while maintaining a sense of emotional safety and security in the vulnerable space of intimacy. In fantasy we are able to direct the experience and have control over how it plays out for our optimal pleasure. We may even find fantasy scenarios are portals to healing and empowerment.

Sharing our fantasies with our partner could be an opportunity to intensify desire and deepen connection. When we’re excited to share our fantasy world, we can also express whether we are letting our partner in on what turns our brain on, or if we are opening a discussion about enacting a fantasy in real life. Playing purely in the realm of imagination can open up a lot of excitement and satisfaction, as can bringing some fantasies alive. There are depths of pleasure to be explored in the realm of fantasy. Consider this an invitation to let go of shame and (safely) indulge your wildest fantasies…