Pathways to Sexual Desire

Our longing for sexual connection, whether with ourselves or with another, is experienced in our minds, emotions, and bodies. When we allow our desires to rise to our conscious awareness, we can embrace our sense of sexuality as beautiful and meaningful. When we feel this connection to our sexual selves, our bodies can awaken through arousal, thus feeling sensation more intensely. We can feel emotionally drawn to a partner through a heightened awareness of our love and attraction. Sexual desire may create in us a sense of vulnerability, authenticity, and empowerment.

Do you want to experience desire for sexual intimacy more often? If sexual desire seems infrequent or elusive, consider aspects that may be challenging for you. This information can guide you to focus on important areas to explore if you want to be more connected to your sexual self.

To be interested in sexual intimacy, you need to have a sense of safety, both physically and emotionally. Be relaxed rather than anxious or stressed. Be embodied, which means to be in mindful awareness of your experiences through your senses. Have an openness to experiencing sensual and erotic touch, to allow your body to become aroused, and to enjoy sustained pleasure. Be in an erotic mind state rather than thinking about non-sexual, negative, or irrelevant content. Know you deserve pleasure and that you are desirable to your partner. Relationship factors include mutual respect, attraction, differentiation, and curiosity.

You can have challenges in any of these areas for a variety of reasons including past hurtful experiences, depression, anxiety, body image issues, low self-esteem, relationship dynamics, medication side effects, medical issues, and life stressors. When you have compassion for yourself regarding these difficulties, you will have a greater capacity to explore the challenges and discover ways to connect with your sexuality more deeply.