Fantasies Engage Eroticism

Where do you go during a sexual experience? Is this an exciting and erotic place? Or is your mind doing chores while your body is involved in sex? 

Our brains have a more important role in the enjoyment of sex than any other part of our bodies. If our minds are not having an erotic experience, our bodies are likely not having a great time either. When our minds are being self-critical, our thoughts are turning our bodies off. When our minds are reviewing an argument we had with our partner yesterday, we are not emotionally available for connection or enjoyment.

We can enhance our sexual experiences by allowing our minds to wander into erotic thoughts while still being present. What about the experience you’re having is exciting? Are you turned on by your partner taking charge or by your partner’s surrender to your desires? Does your partner’s caress feel enticing because your mind imagines this is happening in a public place? Fantasy can be the erotic overlay of a sexual experience you are having with your partner.

Allowing yourself to have erotic thoughts can be a part of fully embracing your sexuality. We may have judgmental thoughts pop in that shame us for what turns us on. Giving ourselves permission to enjoy erotic thought can be the freedom to be playful and to know we are deserving of pleasure. The complexity of our eroticism is a beautiful and amazing aspect of being human.