The Courage of Sexual Authenticity

As your sexuality evolves and your self-awareness deepens, you may find yourself on the edge of your comfort zone. How do you share your sexual self-awareness with a partner? 

A common challenge with sexual expression is fear of criticism, rejection, or judgement. This fear can occur with new partners but is even more common with long-term partners when the sexual expectations are well-established and the stakes are higher. 

Becoming sexually confident begins with finding courage to express your desires.

Growth in any area of life does involve some level of risk and courage. We can lower the stakes by being realistic with ourselves about the possible outcomes. Check in with yourself about what you believe might happen and what you tell yourself that outcome would mean. If catastrophic thinking is involved, the odds say your worst fears are unlikely. 

When we don’t express our authentic sexuality, we may believe our true self is not lovable. Finding the courage to express your desires creates the opportunity to be more fully known and accepted. Sharing more of your sexual self may also open the possibility of discovering your partner may be interested in enhancing your sexual relationship as well.

You might express an interest that your partner is not into, and this could lead to a conversation about what your partner is interested in. You might have a meaningful dialogue in which you could express appreciation for your differences as well as discover new opportunities to explore together.

If you are worried that sharing your authentic sexual self could cause a rift in your relationship, I suggest bringing your concern into our sessions. We can explore whether and how to navigate real or perceived sexual differences between you and your partner.