Body Image
Is the critic in your mind interfering with your interest in sexual intimacy?
Often when we are critical of our bodies, we believe other people see us with the same negative lens we see ourselves. Can you believe your partner really is attracted to you when you don’t see yourself as attractive? Sometimes people are even turned off by a partner who finds them attractive because they think something is wrong with a person who would be attracted to them.
If you struggle with body image issues, I challenge you first to believe your partner actually sees that you are attractive, and then practice not judging your partner for this. Not seeing your own beauty is your blind spot. If you have a partner who can see this in you, allow that person to be a mirror for you to see aspects of yourself that you do not see accurately.
Whether or not you currently have a partner, you can begin to see yourself as attractive and also worthy of love and sexual pleasure. Our mainstream culture has distorted our ideas of what is sexy and who is deserving of sex, and this distortion is then used against us to sell us products and services to try to attain what media says we should look like. That is not actually about sexuality. Rather it is about objectification, criticism, and marketing. People are sexual beings regardless of body shape, size, age, or ability. Sexuality is not a privilege to be earned but a part of who we are.
When we have a lot of practice with judging our bodies, these critical thoughts can interfere with being in our bodies and feeling open to pleasurable sensations. When we are in critical thinking, we are also not open-hearted with another person, and this interferes with emotional intimacy.
Practice moving out of your critical thoughts and into more self-acceptance. This shift is challenging and takes a lot of intentional work, so bring patience and self-compassion to this process. As you are able to quieten the critical voice, you can find more space for being present in connection and enjoyment.
